DOUGLAS: In the spring when the feeling was chronic
And my caution was leaving you flat,
I should have made use of the tonic
Before you gave me that!
A mental deficient you'll grade me.
I've given you plenty of data.
You came, you saw and you slayed me,
And that-a is that-a!

I'm a sentimental sap, that's all.
What's the use of trying not to fall?
I have no will,
You've made your kill
'Cause you took advantage of me!
I'm just like an apple on a bough
And you're gonna shake me down somehow.
So what's the use,
You've cooked my goose
'Cause you took advantage of me!
I'm so hot and bothered that I don't know
My elbow from my ear.
I suffer something awful each time you go
And much worse when you're near.
Here am I with all my bridges burned,
Just a babe in arms where you're concerned,
So lock the doors
And call me yours
'Cause you took advantage of me.

EDNA: When a girl has the heart of a mother
It must go to someone, of course;
It can't be a sister or brother
And so I loved my horse.
But horses are frequently silly--
Mine ran from the beach of Kailua
And left me alone for a filly,
So I-a picked you-a.

I'm a sentimental sap, that's all.
What's the use of trying not to fall?
I have no will,
You've made your kill
'Cause you took advantage of me!
I'm just like an apple on a bough
And you're gonna shake me down somehow.
So what's the use,
You've cooked my goose
'Cause you took advantage of me!
I'm so hot and bothered that I don't know
My elbow from my ear.
I suffer something awful each time you go
And much worse when you're near.
Here am I with all my bridges burned,
Just a babe in arms where you're concerned,
So lock the doors
And call me yours
'Cause you took advantage of me.