Relax for one moment, my Jerry,
Come out of your dark monastery,
While Venus is beaming above.
Darling, let’s talk about love.

Let’s talk about love, that wonderful thing,
Let’s blend the scent of Venice with Paris in Spring,
Let’s gaze at that moon and try to believe
We’re Venus and Adonis, or Adam and Eve,
Let’s throw away anxiety, let’s quite forget propriety,
Respectable society, the rector and his piety,
And contemplate l’amour in all its infinite variety,
My dear, let’s talk about love.

Pretend you’re Chopin and I’ll be George Sand,
We’re on the Grand Canal and, oh baby, it’s grand!
Let’s mention Walkures and helmeted knights,
I’m beautiful Bruennhilde, you’re Siegfried in tights,
Let’s curse the asininity of tribal consanguinity,
Let’s praise the masculinity of Dietrich’s new affinity,
Let’s picture Cleopatra saying “Scram” to her virginity,
My dear, let’s talk about love.

The weather’s so warm and you are so cute,
Let’s dream about Tahiti and tropical fruit,
I’ve always said men were simply deevine,
(Did you know Peggy Joyce was once a pupil of mine?)
Let’s gather miscellania on Oberon’s Titania,
Or ladies even branier who’ve moved to Pennsylvania,
(Bucks County, so I hear, is just a nest of nymphomania)
My dear, let’s talk about love.

My buddies all tell me selectees
Are expected by ladies to neck-tease,
I could talk about love and why not?
But believe me, it wouldn’t be so hot, So—

Let’s talk about frogs, let’s talk about toads,
Let’s try to solve the riddle why chickens cross roads,
Let’s talk about games, let’s talk about sports,
Let’s have a big debate about ladies in shorts,
Let’s question the synonymy of freedom and autonomy,
Let’s delve into astronomy, political economy,
Or if you’re feeling biblical, the book of Deuteronomy,
But let’s not talk about love.

Let’s ride the New Deal, like Senator Glass,
Let’s telephone Ickes and order more gas,
Let’s curse the Old Guard and Hamilton Fish,
Forgive me, dear, if Fish is your favorite dish,
Let’s heap some more profanities on Hitler’s inhumanities,
Let’s argue if insanity’s the cause of his inanities,
Let’s weigh the Shubert Follies with The Ear-rl Carroll Vanities,
But let’s not talk about love.

Let’s talk about drugs, let’s talk about dope,
Let’s try to picture Paramount minus Bob Hope,
Let’s start a new dance, let’s try a new step,
Or investigate the source of Mrs. Roosevelt’s pep,
Why not discuss, my dee-arie,
The life of Wallace Bee-ery,
Or bring a jeroboam on
And write a drunken poem on
Astrology, mythology,
Geology, philology,
Pathology, psychology,
Electro-physiology,
Spermology, phrenology,
I owe you an apology
But let’s not talk about love.

Let’s speak of Lamarr, that Hedy so fair,
Why does she let Joan Bennett wear all her old hair?
If you know Garbo, then tell me this news,
Is it a fact the Navy’s launched all her old shoes?
Let’s check on the veracity of Barrymore’s bibacity
And why his drink capacity should get so much publacity,
Let’s even have a huddle over Ha’vard Univassity,
But let’s not talk about love.

Let’s wish him good luck, let’s wish him more pow’r,
That Fiorella fella, my favorite flow’r,
Let’s get some champagne from over the seas,
And drink to Sammy Goldwyn,
Include me out please.
Let’s write a tune that’s playable, a ditty swing-and-swayable
Or say whatever’s sayable about the Tow’r of Ba-abel,
Let’s cheer for the career of itty-bitty Betty Gra-abel,
But let’s not talk about love.

In case you play cards, I’ve got some right here
So how about a game o’ gin-rummy, my dear?
Or if you feel warm and bathin’s your whim,
Let’s get in the all-together and enjoy a short swim,
No honey, I suspect you all
Of bein’ intellectual
And so, instead of gushin’ on,
Let’s have a big discussion on
Timidity, stupidity, solidity, frigidity,
Avidity, turbidity, Manhattan and viscidity,
Fatality, morality, legality, finality,
Neutrality, reality, or Southern hospitality,
Pomposity, verbosity,
You’re losing your velocity
But let’s not talk about love.